Severus Snape :: An Anthology of Letters
by lumecia
Summary: A co-operation with SeverusKatze. Severus Snape has to deal with an overload of postowls every day. They letters that he receives can be read here. Sev by SevKa, annoying writers by me. Enjoy! R&R please


Huhu:)

So finally, half a year after the first letters have been posted on fanfiktion . de and here (WoW! Today we had our 999th hit on this page :D), we menaged to translate them:) (For more information about the letters, sequels and other stuff check out: lettersandstoriestheytell . webs . com (remove the spaces)) Well yeah...we're certainly not native speakers, so please ignore the mistakes, you might find. (You may keep them :D)

Mainly this project developed out of boredom before summer break:D (as always). SevKa asked me whether I could write some letters to Severus Snape that she would answer, so she could manage to achieve the infamous Sev Style:) (all this snarling and snarring:D). I agreed and somehow the next letters that will be posted in Gemarn will be No 49 and 50 o.0

In addition to that, there's also and Sequel (which can be read on SeverusKatze 's account) and wonder why, we got some plots into our letters. So on one hand there will be stuff like annoying students asking things, Dumbledore and the Order, and other "normal" people, and on the other hand there'll Sev's past, his relationships and fails, well the cheesy, weepy stuff:D All letters are somehow connected, but it is not necessary to read them all (for example if you don't like slash, it doesn't matter if you skip some chapters).

What is really important:

If you have questions or suggestions, then please tell us! Either as review, mail or post on our website;)

'til now we've got:

Ron

Harry,

Draco (mentioning of Drarry (only wanted by Draco)),

Argus Filch,

Dolores Umbridge (believe me, I had so much fun:D),

Hermione,

Sirius,

James,

Lily,

Albus Dumbledore,

Fred & George Weasley,

Minerva McGonagall,

Nymphadora Tonks,

Remus Lupin,

Narzissa Malfoy,

some random ocs,

and last but'n' least:

Lucius "Lucy" Malfoy

Some people write only one letter, others have on-going contact with Severus (like Lucius e.g.). The letters are from different episodes of Sev's life and not in chronical order, but we'll warn you if there's some creepy timetravel-like thingy :D

So...only thing left for me to say: **Lay back and enjoy:)**

And please give us feedback^^ *arranges cake and cookies*

Flames and death threats to SevKa, proposals and nice reviews to me, ok:) (ok...you may post them all in the reviews XD I don't mind death threats and flames, they're rather amusing XD)

* * *

**Pairing: **LM/SS (Maybe mentioned SS/RL)  
**Warnings: **(Slight!) Slash (will be announced^^)  
**Disclaimer: **Definitly not ours -.-' Whole stuff (all characters) belongs to J. K. Rowling, Warner Bros and who knows else. Nonetheless: The plot and ocs, aswell as some locations are ours, so we would appreciate if you ask us for copying ocs.

* * *

Dear Sir,

we would like to introduce our new shop in Diagon Alley to you.

In memory of the pleasure you already took in the magic we performed during our time at Hogwarts, we think, that you could enjoy our new colletion of magic pratical jokes devices very much. Did you never want to get a collegue back for something, without him or her having to suffer from the consequences (cauterisation, death etc.) inn the longer term? Then order our newest articles immerdiately, for example:

Ton Tongue Toffees or maybe Canary Creme. (For more informations concerning the usage and nullification of the effects, see back of the packing)

Or you don't want to vent your frustration on pupils? Then order our Reusale Hangmen. And for our special clostumers:

The Edible Dark Mark

As you can see, we offer you everything the wizard's heart desires. To place an order just fill in the enclosed order form or visit us at "Weasleys Wizard Wheezes" 93, Diagon Alley.

For questions, suggestions and death threats, please also use the therefore designated box on the order form.

Yours faithfully,

Fred and George Weasley,

Principals & Shop owners

P.S.: To give you a little demonstration of our assortment, this letter is a part of our new sommer collection. The letter works like a howler, but it will only activate, when it is to be interfolded again and then sticks on the recipient for at least one day. Meanwhile it announces in a very perculiar way the appearance of the recipient. To ensure the best possible durability, the glue jinx is immune to all counterspells, potions etc.. We wish you much delight with this item. (Certainly you can leave your own text on the letter.)

PP.S.: We also carry love potions and Pygmy Puffs.

ooOoo

Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley,

Do you really believe in the erroneous idea, I would take interest in your ridiculous childishness? I have to fail you. You might find this amusing, I certainly do not!

Once your letter had attached itself so faintly subtle to my gown and proclaimed things, not worthy to be mentioned, I notwithstanding felt the desire to force feed you on your own Edible Dark Marks.

Whereas the box on the order from is too smallish for any further expression of my rage, I will leave it by a warning:

Should you ever again supply me with your advertisements, I will see myself to be compelled to inflict things to you, worse than to jinx a howler onto your clothes.

You know me far enough to be aware of the fact that I, in contrast to you, never joke.

Severus Snape

* * *

So, that's it ^^ We hope you enjoyed it^^ If you can understand German, then check out the German Version: Die Gesammelten Briefe des Severus Snape.

There you may read SevKa's wonderful, sarcastic style :) (She's got no time to translate, so I do it -.-)

Until we'll read us again! :D

Sev's Kätzchen and lu^^

P.S.: If you're annoyed of waiting for the next letter, then check out "A very Potter Musical" or "A very Potter Sequel" on youtube. You gonna love it:) (Guys like Potter...you don't know how much inspiration we got from this:D)


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